Ground Control to Major Tom

Have you noticed that more and more people are talking to themselves?

Okay they aren't really talking to themselves, but it sure as hell looks that way. As more and more states ban driving while talking on cell phones (what's the matter with you Maryland?) Bluetooth enabled headsets have become increasingly common.

I'm all for the technology. Any opportunity to keep drivers focused on the task at hand is okay in my book. But a line has been crossed. I feel the need to remind people that a Bluetooth headset is NOT an accessory that should be adorned like a watch, diamond earrings or a nose ring.


I say this because twice in one week I found myself responding to people who I thought were talking to me but were in fact talking to mystery people on the other end of the phone.

The first incident left me confused more than anything since the woman who I thought was talking to me wasn't even speaking English. You would think that would have been a dead giveaway. Not so much.

The second time was a little more embarrassing, and not just because we were speaking the same language. I looked (and felt) like an idiot for thinking that guy who was asking his wife what kind of cereal to buy the kids was somehow talking to me.

The confusion on the guy's face when I attempted to hand him the box of Crunch Berries was warranted but nonetheless annoying since, after all, he started it. I doubt I looked as suave as I thought I did when, recognizing that I was caught in an ill-timed cereal hand-off with a married man, instead of handing it to him I abruptly reached past him and placed the box on the shelf behind him muttering an unintelligible "Excuse Me" as I brushed past. It's okay if you want to look like a dork in public with the Bluetooth attached to your head, but don't drag me down with you buddy.

Both of these examples illustrate my point: leave the Bluetooth in the car people. Staring at you in traffic and laughing at you 'talking to yourself' is entertainment for me. It's enjoyable and helps me pass the time at the red lights. But for the love of Pete when you exit the car leave the Bluetooth behind. Because as cool as you think you are - you're not. If the conversation is that important remain in your vehicle. If you are that important at your job perhaps you shouldn't be taking personal time away from negotiating the release of hostages to buy your kids cereal.

Cell phones are not that heavy that you couldn't disconnect and carry the stupid thing with you.

I'm just saying.